a myspace message from my husband about our turtle...

Date: Oct 16, 2007 11:20 PM

Subject: wellll..

Body: Ted put his big boy pants on today. during his hated tank cleaning today he took it upon himself to believe that he didn't need to stay in his tupperware bowl. i saw him just in time and shook it to get his front legs off so he wouldn't go tumbling out. he's already outgrown his cup and now he's too big for his bowl. i need to get him a deep dish bowl for tank cleanies. and Freckle still hates me for a full 24 hours after his tank cleanies. he doesn't even want food for a full day. when he sees me he glares at me and refuses to eat food. until he forgets the day after. he's the most tank clean hating grudge keeping fish in the world. well it's late as the world and i'm going to sleep. i love you mine. gnite :)



he makes me laugh with his little messages about our pet turtle...
i miss him so much :(

Yesterday....

This is from yesterday... October 10, 2007

Attack at US base in Iraq kills 2
AP - 1 hour, 15 minutes ago
BAGHDAD - A series of rockets or mortar rounds struck Camp Victory, killing two members of the U.S.-led coalition and wounding 40 other people on the sprawling headquarters for U.S. forces in Iraq, the military said Thursday.

There is nothing but something like this to happen that jars you back to reality. It just grabs a hold and yanks you violently back to reality. I was just starting to think that this was just going to be like my last deployment. Laid back. A mortar attack every now and then. One died from an IED in my entire battalion. I was really just starting to think that this wasn't going to be too bad. Shows that you should never be too complacent.

Back to REALITY now..

the manuscript says....

"...whenever people cross our paths, there is always a message for us. Chance encounters do not exist. But how we respond to these encounters determines whether we're able to receive the message. If we have a conversation with someone who crosses our path and we do not see a message pertaining to our questions, it doesn't mean there was no message. It only means we missed it for some reeason."


from The Celestine Prophecy
by James Redffield

blue ice cream

recently we had to attend a stress management class. the army's big on those kind of things. classes for everything out there. in the stress managemnt class, thye are about one of the stressors... our chief/main boss has a reputation of being a difficult lady to work with. everybody's feelings about her came out in that class. even some violent ones. the lady who was teaching the class told us to concentrate on something besides our violent feelings toward her when she's speaking to us. the lady teacher was trying trying to cage just how far our feeling s for chief... she told us to imagine what we would hink if chief came up to us and said "blue ice cream". let me tell you how awful all our thoughts were: "fuck, where am i gonna get blue ice cream?", and "i gotta get her blue icee cream fast!". we didn't even stop to think if it existed. that's how crazy she is. the chief.
this happened a couple weeks ago but i just remembered how crazy it was.

Iraq... 3 Months Later...

so we been here for like three months now.... still living in tents and still no days off. lemme talk about what happened last nite at work. actually it starts way before last nite. it start the nite before last nite when i fell out a storage connex and twisted my ankle really bad. i should have taken it as a sign of what kinda day it was gonna turn out... it turned out i couldn't walk and i cried when i was trying to get on th bus to go to the aid station. all they did was immerse my foot in ice water (very painful and traumatic experience), and to add insult they gave 325mg tylenol!!! i was in pain and that's all i got. oh yeah and an ankle brace. so last nite when i hobbled to work it was hurting bad :( . so like i said i should have taken it as a sign when i fell... so last nite at 2 am when the electricity went off in the warehouse and the entire post, i shouldn't have been suprised. i was scared out of my mind. did i mention that i'm really scared of the dark? when the lights started to off one by one i thought it was my co-worker trying to be funny.

when i found out it wasn't him, that's when i started to really freak out. we had no way of communicating anyone and no where to go. we haven't been briefed on what to do in that situation. after a while we decided he needed to tell someone since i was in no position to go. he left finally after bringing me my weapon (M16a4) and a big spotlight. i slowly hobbled my way to the middle of the yard armed with a flashlight, a spotlight, a radio tuned to the ecp channel...

i was so scared out of my mind! after a while, the lights came back on. my co-worker came back and told me that the commander had delayed him by asking him why he joined the army and something else about leadership literature!!! i was pissed! there i was in the dark terrified out of my mind and that loser wants to get deep! after while,it was okay but mind you, i still had the flashlight next to me the whole time until sunrise.....

The Walmart Incident

So today the funniest thing happened to me... Today is Ben's birthday, and all he wanted was a mini sd card for his phone. He said the only place we can get it is Walmart electronics section. So late afternoon, we go off to Walmart. So when he off to find his mini sd card, I decided we needed some cookware. So there I was in the cookware aisle, when this ssg started talking to me about enlisting in the army. Oh he was slick with it. He first started asking if I was still in school. I immediately corrected him. Army. Three years going on. He started asking me if I knew anyone who would want to join the Army. I told him that I would not even wish it on my enemies. Then I walked away. Later when I told Ben about the recruiter in Walmart, we had a good laugh about it. You see... we really would not wish it on our enemies. It was just funny the way recruiters try to tell me about the army life. Believe me; I know. Too well.

A Little Johnny Classic Joke

Little Johnny asked the librarian how to use the card catalog. After pouring over the little drawers full of cards he approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila.""T-e-q-u-i-l-a," spelled the librarian, and Little Johnny went back to his search.A short time later he came to the desk, looking quite upset. "I just can't find it." he said."What book are you looking for?" the librarian asked."Tequila Mockingbird."

The Escape of My Fishy.....

Today I got married to my boyfriend Ben of a year and half. Well actually, it'll be exactly a year and half in three more days. We rushed to the courthouse right after work. It was like three thirty p.m.; Ben had called earlier and had been told that the judge leaves at four thirty. When we got there,the lady told us that there was a sixty dollar fee for the license. Cash. No checks. Between the both of us, we had $43.oo. We ran across the street to an ATM machine. Got the cash. Got our license. Went to the fourth floor for the judge to officiate it. He was a nice judge. Ten minutes later, I was Mrs. Daniels.
So today was good so far. Then when we were in my room, I noticed my fish' tank was dirty. I decided I was going to change it. Before I go on any farther, I have or had a dark purple with a tinge of blue beta fish named Mr. Grumpy Gills by Ben. I picked up his tank, brought it to the bathroom sink and proceeded to pour out the dirty water. You know what happened next... before I could put him in the backup container, he fell into the bowl and wriggled halfway into the drain! I tried to grab him but ended up scraping his side. I looked and saw the purple skin under my fingernails and cried out for Ben. He tried but couldn't get it. Then we called my roommate Ana. She, in her attempt, actually pulled out the drain thingy and next thing I know....Fishy's gone! I felt so bad. Mr. Grumpy Gills ( I call him Fishy) thought he was escaping to a better place. That's what my roommate said. " All drains lead to the ocean." Is that what Fishy thought? Was I a bad human? My roommate and my newly wed husband thought it was funny to throw in phrases from " Finding Nemo". It wasn't funny to me. I really wanted to it to work out. New husband, new apartment, and new pet. The really sad thing is I never took a picture of him. My Fishy, I miss you.

Life Lessons...

1. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

2. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

3. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

4. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

5. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.


7. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't time on you.


8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

9. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

10. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

12 Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.



REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

I dream of the perfect day...

This picture is what I imagine a perfect day would feel and look like. Absolutely perfect. :)

Jaded

Most days is not a good day for me. I used to be an optimistic person. Always looking for the bright side. The rainbow after the rain. I guess the places especially the most recent, and some people you meet along the way break you down. I know what you might be thinking. That if you are strong enough then you'll overcome anything that tries to bring you down. I used to be a firm believer in that. Not so much anymore. On some rare good days, maybe. It's just that when the same shit keeps happening over and over and the serenity prayer stops working... you get jaded.

25 Reasons Why McDonald's Is Better Than The Army

Right now, I'm not to keen about being in the Army. So here are some reasons why Mickey D's looking real good...


1. If you have to take a piss, you can go take a piss. No questions asked.
2. Better pay.
3. The ability to quit!
4. McDonald's doesn't deploy.
5. They have actual janitors.
6. No McDrills.
7. The grill breaks....You CALL someone to fix it.
8. No time at McDonald's will you hear your boss give a 30 minute dissertation over the P.A. on the importance of being 15 minutes early.
9. McDonald's will eventually fire the ***REALLY*** stupid employees.
10. If McDonald's catches fire, you leave.
11. Personnel inspection requirements are written on the door. (no shirt, no shoes, no service)
12. At McDonald's, dislocating your shoulder is not considered getting the "good deal".
13. If you want to buy your boss a beer, thats okay.
14. If you want to tell your boss to "fuck off and just die, just fucking die" that's okay too.
15. There is no Uniform Code of McDonald's Justice to deal with.
16. No one will wake you at 2 in the morning to start the grill.
17. Chances of you getting called back after you get off work are pretty damn slim.
18. $2.99 is a meal price, not a daily wage at McDonalds
19. McDonald's doesn't require a 24 hour Charge of Quarters Duty and Staff Duty.
20. MCDonald's employees get paid for overtime.
21. You don't have to come in to work at 7am only to wait around for an hour for your boss to tell you things you already knew.
22. If you burn a hamburger, they won't take away half a month's pay for two months and restrict you to the playground.
23. You don't have to take apart the shake machine once a quarter, JUST BECAUSE.

The Truth of the Reality

So it is all true. You come to a certain point in your life and then you realize you are becoming that very person you did not want to become. It's like when you were young and you see a someone or something in a rather bad or awkward situation, and you tell yourself you'll never be that person. That you'll never be in that same situation. You think of what you would do different if God forbid, you would ever for some reason find yourself in that situation. Then you grow up and you do find yourself in the very same situation that you swore you would never be in... Let me tell you... The truth of the reality is very humbling. All those different solutions you thought of long time don't seem to make sense anymore. You realize that way back when you saw that person in that situation, you really didn't understand what that person was going through. And now you are faced with the same situation. In that very person's shoes... The truth of the reality is cold water in your face in the morning at your deepest sleep. It is that screeching cry in the quiet of the night. It jars you, and scares you. Understanding is one of life's hard lessons. Only learned through experience.

The White Cow

Last week, I made Ben promise to bake a turkey for me this weekend. ( Ben's my boyfriend soon to be husband.) I go through these food cravings. So we bought a turkey yesterday. It was our first time baking a turkey. We didn't know we had to defrost it first. Oh yeah, and take out the gizzards. So it's been in the oven for 5 minutes when he finally read the directions about defrosting the turkey first. So into the fridge the turkey goes, for tomorrow. We forgot ingredients for the gravy. So an early trip to Walmart was planned.
So this morning, we woke up early and went to Walmart as planned. We walked out of Walmart with everything we needed plus extra. A mini German chocolate cake, a whipped cheesecake, and a tray of fried chicken to tide us over until the turkey's done.
On the way back to the apartment, we pass a field full of cows. I think they belong to the owner of the casino next door to the field. I'm always fascinated by the cows because where I grew up we didn't have cows. Well, this one particular Sunday morning I noticed that in the sea of black cows, there was this one white cow. Just one. It got me wondering if they had a racism problem. If that one white cow had problems with the other cows. After all, he is the only white cow in a sea of black cows...
Oh well, the turkey's starting to smell really good.

Never Stop Fighting...

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

-e.e. cummings